Last year this time I just finished San Juan 70.3.  I was hoping that despite not running prior to the race my body would hold up and I could produce a good result to earn some Ironman points for Worlds 70.3.   As I walked through the run I only had one thought  - home.  Three days later, I was on the plane just in time to make Maya's (my niece) Birthday.   For the past two weeks, every morning I have had one thought upon waking - home.  I keep seeing myself waking up in my own apartment.  I see my stained glass in the window and I know that I am in my place and my space. 

Yesterday I woke up early as I do every morning to start working on my computer.  I quickly got frustrated and stressed doing "not my responsibility" school group work and wondering why I was falling into a deep hole of grumpiness.   I sent off the report with some not so friendly words and looked at my workout for the day.  I felt blah, wondered where is my energy, thought maybe I should rest and something is wrong with me.  I went back to bed.  When I woke up from this impromptu nap I thought "what the heck!"  I have been here before and I recognize all this.  It is called FEAR in action.  I am scared.  Yes I want to go home.  Yes I am not totally psyched editing/fixing other people's work.  But no that is not why I am stressed and lack energy. 

In the past two races I have felt freaking fantastic in the swim and bike and starting the run.  My ego, although a necessary component of being athlete, has gotten ahead of the race.  I lacked the critical diligence to my energy output/input.  As a result I have had to battle the demons that scream at the top of their lungs - you just don't have this long distance stuff in you.  Quit.  After these races I have had to turn around and say to myself again and again, you can do this.  You just have to listen to your body to succeed.  When you feel like the world is loading one stress onto the other though it becomes really hard to trust yourself and the work you have done.  The negative thoughts pile up.  I have thought while riding on the bike paths here in Brisbane "commuters are even faster than me".  I have thought "it's because your older".  I have thought "you don't know how to push yourself anymore".  This is all bull-shit of course.  

My mom almost religiously sends me positive notes every day.  She reminds me that I am loved, just generally amazing and to not allow anything or anyone provide additional stress.  The problem is not what other people say or the life events that happen. It is, of course, what and how I take them on and respond.  In sport/life we  set ourselves up to play out fears.  Prior to some races I take on school, my new business or sponsor work, become mentally tired and then have a fantastic excuse as to why I didn't quite get the race plan right.  When I worked in government, I stayed late at the office the night before flying out "getting necessary work done".  I always have a great excuse to act out stress - assignments, exams, deadlines are real.  But at the end of the day how I manage my work is a choice.  We always have a choice.

Back to my FEAR.  In 2010 Zane, my coach at that time, asked me what I feared.  I told him I feared that my body would let me down.  That I would not "make it" because of injuries and that my body could not keep up with my determination.  As I approach this race I fear failing. I fear getting to the run and not being able to keep going.  I fear walking and having all those negative thoughts overwhelm me and having to get through them.  I fear feeling sorry and disappointment in myself.  

What I know.  I know that in my last two races my physical capacity was absolutely available to me but I messed up nutrition, power or pacing. This is my mind failing not my body. Failing physically is not an option -my body has everything it needs.  This race is entirely mental for me.  It is about taking the time and energy this week to be prepared to race smart.  I have no choice but to slow down on my work, unload stress and be so mentally prepared that I get bored.  I will not long for home because that will come in time.  I will honour the work I have done here in Australia.  Mom - I will think positive.  Mostly though I will be smart.  

Mt Nebo is roughly a 45 minute ride from Indooroopilly, a suburb just outside the centre of Brisbane and where I am staying.  This morning was my final "Wednesday All-out Hill Ride" up the 20 km mountain.  It weaves through typical Australian forest and you hear the cuckatoos whistling the whole way.  The trees tower over providing a bit of welcome shade as I drip sweat on my Shiv the whole way up.  Here is a little video once I made it to the top, had a GU and just enjoying being out there in such an incredibly beautiful place.  

For this race I had three goals. The first was to come out of the water first. The second goal was to bike with guts, determination and without any doubt that I put everything I have out there on the course. I did not want to “play it safe”. The third goal was to finish strong.

The swim, although very challenging from a sighting perspective, was smooth. I got out of the mess early, led the whole way and was comfortable in my pace. Goal 1 accomplished. The bike was the most mentally tough race I have done. I was out there on my own pushing the pace for almost all 200 km. I tried to stick with Caroline Steffen (arguably the strongest IM cyclist in triathlon) from T1 and succeeded to keep her within 3ish minutes until the final lap (4 hours 30 min into the ride). That is when I started to have problems and my Garmin Edge 810 showed a marked drop in power and speed. Despite this my data file shows my determination to keep bringing my power back up as I kept pushing again and again. I never stopped believing or trying. Goal 2 accomplished. After I found my legs in the run I actually felt ok. That lasted all of 1 km. Then my stomach tightened into a ball and never released the cramping. It went downhill from there. I finished but not with a smile on my face. My initial thought was that I “failed” Goal 3. However, being the eternal optimist and one with a “not to be defeated attitude” I realize that finishing strong can mean something different. I finished this prestigious race in eighth. I pushed hard, learnt a ton and with this experience am stronger. Importantly my resolve to succeed at Ironman Melbourne in a few weeks will not be dampened. With that I can say Goal 3 – accomplished.  

They say that life is made up of a series of moments. Racing can be so much like life where there are high and low moments, some pretty, some not so much.  But they make up the whole experience. Here are my memorable moments around the Abu Dhabi International Triathlon. 

• Hearing the minarets first thing in the morning and realizing that I am at one of the most prestigious races in the world which happens to be in Abu Dhabi, the Middle East and a million miles from home.
• Meeting the only female elite athlete from India just prior to the race and her saying “I like Canadians. They are so nice”.
• Gripping my toes in the white sand right before I took off into the water on a mission. 
  
• Turning the first buoy, having no idea which way to go so stopping, taking my goggles off and yelling out to no one in particular - where do I go? Michelle Vesterby (bless her soul) yells out "STRAIGHT!" 
  
• Thinking during the swim – hope these girls that are drafting like swimming because I am certain that I just made the course longer.
  
• Coming out of the water in the lead. 
  
• Getting onto the Yas Marina Formula 1 Race course. That was 18km (3 loops) of fun.
  
• Flying with the wind at my back like I was untouchable. (Note that confidence too early in a race can be a real problem.)
  
• Hearing the whoop whoop of my Zipp disc wheel.
  
• Running out of water several times and almost chewing the nipple off on the fuelselage trying to get every last drop out of it.
  
• Looking out to my right, left and seeing nothing but desert separated by a huge highway. Then noticing the sign for Ikea and thinking “Really? Here too?”
• Getting to my last GU chocolate mint gel and thinking how can these taste this good at 90F and after 5 hours.
  
• Taking a swig of flat coke thinking that it was water. It is a serious shock when you do that. 
  
• Puking up water and thinking shit – This is where Peter Reid says PROBLEM SOLVE.
  
• Getting off the bike and almost falling over as I tried to locate my legs.
  
• The shock of seeing Rachel and Yvonne going through T2 right behind me. They had made up 5 minutes in my last loop. Bummer for me. 
  
• First few minutes of the run when I thought “my legs are ok!” Then for my body to say too bad you have nothing left in you...
  
• Thinking on the last few kilometers I want to go home. 
  
• Having the volunteers give me ice cold sponges and splashing them on my face. Then getting a little creeped out thinking how many people are doing the same. Then not caring at all. Felt good. 
  
• Seeing the salt caked on my black top and wondering how much of that was mine and how much was the ocean.
  
• Having intense stomach cramps and wondering how I can again problem solve my way through this one. 
  
• Drinking flat cola on the run course and thinking for a brief moment oh I feel better now. Maybe I can finally push. Hope lingers for a long time. 
• Stopping at the finish and thinking -wow I really am tired. 
  

And so Abu Dhabi is done. I am back to work and looking to the next race. I have to admit that I am tired but know IM Melbourne is around the corner and with that home around the next. What a journey. 

Phil, my manager, sent a note two weeks ago with the message “what do you think of doing the Geelong half?” With Abu Dhabi on my mind it was a definite training opportunity – a hard days work among many others. Racing pushes you more than any training session can. It brings excitement, intensity and adrenaline. It gives you that extra edge. Geelong Long Course became the perfect opportunity to get the kinks out before toeing the line at “the big one.”

So Wednesday after a hard bike hill session I started stepping back from training and praying that my legs would come around to give a solid effort on Sunday. It is amazing how your body can go from feeling the burn as you climb a stair, the kind that you actually lean forward to have your hands help you get up, to being able to bounce up them (almost). Friday I arrived into Geelong late at night mostly ready to go.

The men and women were starting together for this race – something I am usually very happy about. This start however, was not the smoothest for me. A horn went and we were off... false alarm. Hate that. Back to the line. My second start was not all that much better than my first. I was not aggressive enough so by the time I started swimming I had a lot of work to do to get through the mens chase pack. I ended up swimming by myself in between the front and chase pack. Sadly for me Emma Moffat and Anna Cleaver were in that lead pack. I started 1:30 down onto the bike.

These days when I race I am consistent and usually negative split. I don't go too hard to start and usually get better as I go. This race was no different. I stayed “safe” plugging away but not getting any ground on the leaders. The girls behind me actually gained on me. Not good. Every time I started to really move I thought, great my legs are going to give me something here and I can finally gain ground. Every turnaround though there were those darn girls. The second lap I thought – ok you got to do something here Hoogland. Thirteen minutes HARD. Then reassess. At the turnaround they were still there. Twenty minutes HARD. Still there. One hour ended up passing while I upped the pace and finally I put some time into some of the girls. Definitely a negative split, an additional 15 watts on that second lap and lots of room to improve.    

I love getting to the run now. I tried something new with my nutrition. At my last Ironman in Cozumel I realized too late that 9 hours of gels was a little much no matter how much you like them. So Brandon Marsh gave me the idea to have a GU chomp every mile. Just stick it in no matter what and either chew or dissolve the calories. And so I did. I have to say that it worked for me and so the strategy for Ironman nutrition unfolds again.

As hard as I tried I was not able to run Anna Cleaver (third place) down in this race.  I ended up fourth. Solid but a step from the podium. Bummer. I keep reminding myself the point of the race – hard training day but really would I be where I would be if fourth was good enough? Nope. And so 3 weeks to go – going to make every one of those days count. Hard work and recovery. And maybe some chocolate to keep me going. Onwards!

Saturday I got to meet the Scody crew at the expo. Having sponsors is a big and important part of being a professional athlete and are far more than a product that we want to endorse. They are often the people at the race who you know have your back, will solve problems and be the face that says – you can do this and get it done. Meeting Bernard and Kristina from Scody, hearing from them the effort they have put into the fabrics, design, cuts of the garments, where they have been made (Australia!), the interest they have in creating a positive experience for everyone in their brand and just being good people, means so much. Check out the video about the race!

Specialized as always did not disappoint. I am not sure where Specialized finds their crew but no matter where I am in the world, the mechanics are brilliant. They live and breath the passion for Specialized bikes, their belief in Specialized athletes and bring attention to every detail of their work. Arriving to the tent I met Dan and mentioned casually that there was something up with my gears. Three hours and a few new cables and housing later my Shiv was a dream. He worked on and fixed every small and big problem there was. Second problem came at the end of the day when I found I had a flat tubular tire. Not an easy fix. It requires a new tire, new glue and essentially time and work. Dan again to the rescue. “Tenille – I'll fix it. Go home. Rest. I'll check your bike into transition and text you so you know it is done.” I wanted to kiss the guy. Sure enough that evening and I received a text with my beautiful Shiv sitting on the rack ready to go. If you want the best, you have to get the best and Specialized does not compromise or ever cut corners. Thanks Specialized!

Getting off the plane on Thursday in Sydney I immediately felt that I had 4 layers on too many. I was welcomed by a wave of heat. Finally.

Then I got to Brisbane. Melissa was waiting for me as I exited the airport in a total torrential down-pour. As I piled into the car with my bike and bags, Mel looked at me, thanked me for bringing the rain as requested and asked, how you feeling?  Up for squad training at the pool. My response was of course but think we can get a coffee? And so I hit the ground running. Five kilometers long-course before I finally found some sleep. 

The next 3 days brought incredible rain – over 600mm of it actually. There was incredible flooding throughout Brisbane and cyclones with winds up to 100km/hr. I was worried about every tree being knocked down in the forest. I had to shake my head that I had come half way across the world and I was still inside on the Computrainer! At least I know it was quality work. On Saturday Mel was determined to get in a longish ride. Off we went at 6 am into the rain. It was not pouring at this point but over the course of 5 hours we had so much rain that my hands pruned up. As we neared the top of a mountain with winds sweeping us almost off the road and rain coming down so hard it felt like pellets hitting me, Mel said that there was only three more kilometers to the lookout. I looked at her thinking are you for real? We couldn't see our hands in front of our face at this point. We made it to the lookout and the views I am sure are stunning. 

Since then the weather has improved and I have found the heat and sun that I knew existed here in Australia. I have been trying to keep up with Mel as she zips up and down the hills of Brisbane on the bike. Riding my beloved Shiv here is not ideal as there is rarely a moment where you don't need to be changing gears. The city amazes me as one minute you are amidst tons of traffic and then the next in a tropical forest that hums with insects and cawing birds. I even saw a kangaroo! 

And so training is going well. I am still trying to find my groove but will get there. Just have to get lost a few times along the way I think.    

In making a new year resolution one most often tries to give something up or add something to be a better or healthier person.  Last year when I was overcoming injury and mental fatigue I learnt why stress is a killer.  So this year my first resolution is to continue aiding my body whenever possible to reduce stress. 

 If there is a take home message from this blog it is:

1.  HYDRATE:  Forget the articles stating that we are over hydrating or don't need to drink until we are thirsty.  That is just dumb.  Preferably drink alkaline, microclustered, antioxidant water. 

2.  REDUCE REFINED SUGARS:  Found in soda's and many processed foods they are empty calories without any nutritional value.  

3.  LOVE THE GREEN:  It is perhaps obvious to say eat fruits and veggies with a vengeance but if emphasis is made make sure that you have something green everyday.  Kale, spinach, broccoli, swiss chard are just about the best super foods out there.   

4) LOVE LOTS, GIVE AND KNOW YOUR FAMILY/FRIENDS:  Community, support, friends are so often  the best source of laughter, love and support. 

Whether stress originates externally from work, family pressures, financial difficulties or training, our bodies react at the molecular level in the same way.  Physiologically the cells within our body undergo oxidative, acidic or hydration stress. 

The Oxymoron of Oxygen:  Life giving and destruction

Oxygen is essential for life.  It is needed to generate energy from our nutrition (fatty acids, glucose and amino acids).  The very creation of cellular energy generates free radicals.   These free radicals while essential to the human body to fight off pathogens (bacteria,viruses, fungi, parasites) that threaten our body also have the potential to have a destructive impact.  Oxidative stress occurs when the body is unable to manage changes of the oxidative state.  The toxic effect in the production of peroxides and free radicals damages components of the cell including proteins (cell membrane), essential lipids and even our DNA.  In humans, oxidative stress is thought to be involved in the development of many diseases or may exacerbate their symptoms. These include cancer, Parkinson's disease, Alzheimer's disease, atherosclerosis, heart failure, myocardial infarction, Schizophrenia; Bipolar disorder, fragile X syndrome, Sickle Cell Disease, and chronic fatigue syndrome.

Acidic Stress

Acidic Stress occurs when the body is chronically exposed to diets high in sugar, excessive animal protein and dairy, emotional stress, physical stress (e.g., lactate acid build up), or elimination problems such as kidney failure.   Under normal circumstances the body is able to maintain the finely balanced pH equilibrium through the chemical buffering system and the neutralizing ability of alkaline foods.  Problems occur when lifestyle and/or intake of acid-forming products (e.g., smoke, alcohol, sodas) consistently stresses the body to manage and buffer the finely tuned pH.    Bones, the largest buffering pool outside our cells, are forced to give up their alkaline minerals, namely calcium and magnesium, in order to buffer the excess acid and keep metabolic processes going.  Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD), osteoporosis, gout, cancers, kidney stones and peridontal disease are some diseases that are a result of or thrive in a chronically acidic fighting body.   

Hydration Stress

Our bodies are 70-75% water.  It helps maintain our body temperature, lubricates our joints, moistens our tissues, protects our vital organs, prevents constipation, helps our kidneys and liver by flushing out waste products, carries nutrients and oxygen to our cells and is the ultimate solvent to increase the accessibility of critical vitamins and nutrients.  When our cells are dehydrated they once again go to work to balance the pH.  They do this by signalling the sympathetic, fight-or-flight nervous system and releasing hormones that aim to retain fluid.  Unfortunately these same hormones contribute to the “stress response”.    

Two days after my Ironman my sister came to Boulder to see my life there and embark on the 1712 miles of terrain between Boulder and Courtenay BC in my little 2003 Honda Civic.  From my last and best night in Boulder, getting slightly detoured in the first 45 minutes of our drive, willing my car to get over the Rockies at 50 miles/hr and arriving to the Big Horn Lodge, I knew this trip would be unforgettable.   We had a phenomenal time in Moab.  Driving through the rest of Utah was... interesting?  We learnt that in Brigham City you can't find a drop of coffee anywhere (Mormon thing) and when they say wind warning on Highway 84 they actually mean white knuckle drive with hazards on while your extremely weighted down Honda is almost blown of the road.  The Shiloh Inn in Boise was a brilliant place to arrive tired, hungry and in need of a hot tub.  We made it through the Outlet shopping centres in North Bend to arrive at my Lake Stevens 70.3 homestay Gary and Sarah Schroeder.  Wine, amazing lasagna, Trader Joe's flourless chocolate cake, Sarah's raspberry cordial and laughter was a wonderful way to finish our trip.  Crossing the border was a breeze and Danielle and I lamented that we did not buy more wine and cheese. By the time I got on the BC Ferries I had serious tunnel vision with one mission - get to Courtenay.   We did and were greeted by my brother in law, brother and two gorgeous nieces.  I knew I was finally home.... 

Sitting in Boulder on my final night I looked at the people around me. Together long rides to Glen Haven where the gigantic cinnamon buns and $.25 coffee were consumed, hours on the massage table where weekly trials and tribulations divulged, hikes up Mt. Sanitas, NBRC pool and sauna, Ward cookies, mile repeats around Wonderland Lake and Reservoir swims were shared. This year has been tremendous experiencing the lows of injury and overtraining to now where I seem to be pinching myself and wondering is this my life? Here is 2012 in a nut shell.

The year started in Iten Kenya – dancing, laughing and sharing Tusker beer with people who quickly became true friends. Days were spent running and biking in the Rift Valley, swimming in the ice cold pool only to warm up in the sauna. I never wanted those days to come to an end but adventures awaited.   

When I arrived to Austin I had no idea that I would experience culture shock. Running up South Congress, a wonderful shopping street with the energy of the eclectic, hip, yuppy, granola loving people that make Austin so special, people were all sipping their $5 lattes. As I ran with tears streaming down my cheeks I wondered if anyone knew what $5 meant to people in a world away. The privilege of my life and sport were never so apparent.

Thanks to Mark, my travel sponsor, I made it to Panama 70.3 in one piece telling myself that I had all I needed to have a great race – hard training and determination. The gun went off, 5 kms into the bike I had a flat, 2 km another. My race was done. I got home and started nursing the plantar fascia issues that I had developed. On a mission to start my season and get on the Worlds 70.3 qualifying points list I took on San Juan 70.3. First out of the water was the best part of the day. With little run training, after the bike it all went downhill. Spirit took another hit. I went home to BC to be with my family.

Next race was Wildflower – a race I truly love and think EVERYONE should do at least once. The pressure was mounting to have one good race. Having finally got back to running I thought – do what it takes, if it were easy everyone would do it, keep pushing through it all. Truthfully though I was dragging myself around the amazing streets of San Francisco in preparation. How can anyone drag themselves around such an incredible and inspiring place? I was perplexed. I kept pushing and pushing, hoping and wishing it were just a little easier. My body once again snapped and I developed a labral tear flare up. The harder I tried the more my body resisted. I did not start the race.

Back in Austin I had to reevaluate where I was at. My body was a mess and my spirit low. This was not what being a professional athlete was really about I thought. Or was it? Zane (previous coach) was embarking on new adventures and I needed to change things up. I got in touch with Chuckie V. and went to Boulder to meet him and see if he and I could work together. One week later I knew I had to give it a go. I packed my little Honda Civic and said good-bye to Austin, the place where I began my journey as a full-time professional triathlete.  

In the six short weeks I worked with Chuckie he had a profound and positive impact on me. He changed everything I did in my training to be manageable, enjoyable but still hard work. It was like I woke up to see where I was again -outside in an incredibly beautiful place.  One of his many motto's was to ensure that training gave you energy and did not take it away. I did epic rides and loved it. I hiked up and down mountains giving my body exactly what it needed – strength and endurance. I worked hard but after every session I still had a little something left. I also had moved into the house of Anita Lopez. Her energy, positive influence, infectious joy for life, willingness to learn and embrace everything that comes in one's path and her knowledge on hydration and nutrition was the complete package to heal my spirit and body. Chuckie had to take some time away and I was left to coach myself. I figured I knew what to do and had incredible support at home to do it. For the first time I learned how to trust myself fully.    

Lake Stevens 70.3 was the first race of my “new” season and my goal was to embrace every moment. With my sister and mom on the sidelines this was easy. I have never had so much fun in a race, negative split the run and smile the whole way through. I had come back. 

Life never really gives you a break and 4 days before my second race, Boulder 70.3, I had a terrific crash on my bike. In typical Tenille fashion I thought I would be healed in days because of my positive attitude. I tried to get to a start line 3 times in the month of August but my body kept saying nope. My back and hips had suffered the most. Eventually with the amazing work of my massage therapist Allan Kupczak and help of Jared Hauschildt I did get going again and was on the start line of Muskoka 70.3.

Every race for the rest of the season I had people I loved on the sidelines – my best girl friends in Muskoka 70.3, Ottawa friends at Pocono 70.3, host family extraordinaire in Rev3 Anderson and whole Austin community at Austin 70.3. They carried me through consistent and joyful racing despite my growing fatigue. I put everything I had out there on every race and raced smart.

I had been told that being a professional athlete is nothing but hard work, sacrifice and lack of balance. I think this is wrong. Balance comes from knowing where you are most happy and able to find your abundant energy to do your life's work. For me that happy place is being engaged in learning, in my sport and in those relationships that make life richer and meaningful. In September I took on a full race schedule, progressive training load to prepare me for Ironman and started classes through distance education at Simon Fraser University. My life was full on and I certainly had no room for naps. I finally found balance, where I loved working and studying. I understood how my passion and work could be combined and where I could flourish. 

It was while injured from the crash that I thought about Ironman distance and the what-if. Once again I called up my personal “sober second thought” Mark Cathcart. He was nothing but enthusiastic and once again made it possible with air-miles and accommodation. I found myself on the start line at Ironman Cozumel to finish off a tremendous year. This race was amazingly fun until I had to learn some valuable nutritional lessons that I suppose I could only learn in a race. I am super excited about doing another and totally “crushing it”. 

Before Ironman Cozumel my Uncle William died in a car crash coming home from a long stint working up northern BC. He was very present in my life cheering me on. He picked me up from countless ferries and airports as I made my way home from adventures. He was super keen on my VERY cool Rudy Project sunglasses and a little miffed that I couldn't get him a free pair. His answer to that was on-line shopping. He also proudly told me of his new training regime of biking up the hill from Deep Bay (our family summer fishing spot). Everyday he got stronger. So many memories and I miss him deeply. 

Leaving Boulder was harder than I thought it would be. It became a wonderful home to me – I met amazing people right up to the final days. I have no idea where it fits in my future. For now I am busy planning 2013. Abu Dhabi Triathlon, training with Melissa and Jared Hauschildt in Australia (How COOL is that!), Ironman Melbourne is just the beginning. I have new sponsors of Scody, Computrainer, Rudy Project and have the support of old ones – Specialized, Nineteen and GU. It is going to be a tremendous year. But first I get to enjoy December in the off-season. Mountain biking, skiing Mt. Washington and family, family and more family. Can't wait. Let the adventures continue...  

I think anyone who embarks on the journey of doing an Ironman is well aware of the anxiousness in the lead up to it. Have I thought about all the what ifs and know how to problem solve, managed to get in enough long runs, bikes, is my nutrition dialed, how many salt tablets and how much sport glide can I put on to prevent chaffing?

Although I was a rookie at this Ironman thing my challenge in this race was not whether I could finish it. It was how fast can I finish it, how much do I dial back my power to respect the distance and can I get enough calories on the go. My training was there. 

That morning I had a calm confidence. When the gun finally went off I loved every minute of the swim. It was a tough one with lots of chop, winds and current. I tucked in behind Michelle Vesterby and let her do the sighting and lots of work. I thought – this is my start to patience. I looked at the fishes, blue ones, tiger stripe ones and yellow ones. The water was an incredible clear blue where you could see right to the bottom of the ocean. When we caught the guys I made my move keeping Michelle within sight. I got ahead and came out of the water first woman. Excellent.

Despite asking an official the day before, I learnt that one MUST go through the change tent even though you don't really need to. I had to back track a little unless I wanted a penalty, hence the slow transition.

The bike was 112 miles of awesomeness. At first I was with Michelle and a male pro who was kind enough to keep her company. I am not sure if it was their strategy to drop me but it was not going to be my race if I stayed with them so after the first 10 miles they continued on together without me. I spent the next 100 miles on my own until Sophie and Yvonne came up on me in the last two miles of the bike. I sang songs to myself, ate my picnic of GU gels, drank and drank some more. Other than my back getting sore from being in a tucked position for 5 hours, I loved every minute of it.

Getting onto the run I felt good. I found a great rhythm and just went with it. Still super aware of hydration I grabbed water at every single station. Held ice in my hand (the best way to stay cool) and again was super happy and actually enjoying myself. There was just one problem – I really really had to pee. I thought of water falls, told myself to relax, let it go... Apparently I have not mastered this skill among the professional league of triathletes. I started to really cramp with the pressure so at mile 12 I found a port-o-potty and finally found relief. When I stopped it became apparent that I had missed something. I looked at my gel flask and it was full. I walked through the aid station and realized that this was not good. I started to run and began the process of thinking – there will be bad times and the good times are around the corner, pain is temporary so say hello, it is ok... the problem was that it wasn't ok. My body had reached beyond where it wanted to go, I walked again, tried to run but the dizzy self said no. I had to refuel and get sugar into me. For the next 10 miles I drank every cup of cola and gatorade I could get my hands on. I walked and walked. Other athletes along the way encouraged me which was a life saver. I must have looked miserable. The last three miles I thought I can do this. I can run 3 miles. I started to go having had almost 1.5 hours of refueling and low and behold my body came around....

At the finish line I was done. I did not savor the moment of accomplishment and was admittedly frustrated. Twenty-four hours ago I thought never again. Ironman-check! With some perspective now I realize that I had 7 .5 hours of fun. Really. I messed up taking in calories on the run and in a race like Ironman there is no room for messing up nutrition. I learnt this lesson before in 70.3 and know better. From here I can only go one direction and that is to get back on my feet and be better next time. I am an Ironman after all and anyone who undertakes such an endeavor has that little something that says yes you can be better, do better and strive for the moon. Why wouldn't I? I am just getting started!

The Nitty Gritty Details:

Swim: Nineteen Skin suit
Bike: Shiv TT, SRAM Red components, Zipp 808 rear, 404 front tubular
Nutrition:
Swim: GU 15' before start,
Bike: 5 Superfood balls, 5 gels, 2 bottles concentrated GU (blueberry pomegranate -4scoops), 10 bottles water (approx. calorie content total 2300)
Run: dismal – maybe 3 gels, and then a whole lot of coke and gatorade.

Better late than never right?  Life since Austin 70.3 has thrown a few curve balls but I am finally catching up.  

Austin 70.3 was a great race to be part of again.  To be on "home turf" getting the cheers, seeing familiar faces, riding familiar roads is a huge advantage. Like every other race this year it was COLD on race morning.  Not just a little cold but full on wear my down jacket over my 5 other layers and my NIneteen wetsuit.  The best place to be was in the water which was balmy in comparison but that was only 5 minutes before race start.  

Swim:  25:43   (First finisher out of water)
Starting out was the normal get going, find your rhythm and settle in and try desperately to go in straight lines despite looking directly into the sun.  I noticed right from the get-go this girl just whizzing through the water.  She was having trouble sighting though and missed staying right of a buoy. It was then I lost her.  I actually didn't know after that if she was ahead or behind.  She was just gone.  

When I ran through transition, threw on my jersey (it was THAT cold!) and made it to the dismount line, Mark yelled at me - 1 minute down.   I thought WHAT? This is new! I quickly got into the chase of this girl.  

Bike:  2:28:14  (Second off Bike)
My bike was a dream again and Bicycle Sport Shop lent me a disc wheel so I got to appreciate the thwump, thwump, thwump sound of the wheel.  I love that! As soon as I could I grabbed my gloves and put them on.  My hands have a tendency to loose circulation in the cold which makes it REALLY hard to change gears or do anything.   I tried to keep the power steady at 220 watts.   When I passed Lauren Brandon I thought - great, stay steady, your in the lead.  I was in for a surprise.  

Run:  1:27:23  Splits:  6:47, 6:41, 6:33 (Third Place)
Coming into transition Mark yelled at me "4:30 down on the lead".  If I was surprised by Lauren out of the water first I was shocked to learn Rachel McBride had gained a tremendous lead.  Sadly I had no idea she passed me and put serious time in!  But success comes when you stay in your own race and that is all I could do at that point.  Again I had to bite hard when Jennifer Tetrick flew by me in the first few miles.  I thought - not yet, hold steady.  Long way to go and just kept her in sight.  By the second lap I had caught her again but was then passed by Yvonne.  I started to feel good so I thought give a little more juice.  By the third lap I thought - I still have more in me, run Yvonne down!  I went for it closing the gap a bit but not enough.  She finished 1 minute ahead and I had a serious negative split.  

Overall the race was solid.  Because I raced Austin 70.3 I did a direct comparison of my SRM bike power.   It was almost EXACTLY the same. Check out the analysis below.  

When they say every second counts, every second really does count!   This is what I will take with me to Ironman Cozumel this weekend.  It will be a race of patience, control and nutrition.  The fitness is there.  My mind is there and I am ready!